Smart Brain

A Pakistani walks into a New York City bank and asks to see the loan-officer.
He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $25,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the man hands over the keys of a new Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything is checked out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's under ground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the man returns, repays the $25,000 and the interest, which comes to 15.41. The loan officer says," We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a
little puzzled.

While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a
multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow
25,000?".

The Pakistani replied, "Where else in New York can I park my car for two weeks for 15 bucks with additional security?"

Angel

John: You know my wife is an angel?

David: You are lucky because my wife is still alive.

"He died last week."

A guy phones up his Boss, but picks up the bosses' wife instead:
"I'm sorry he died last week." she explains.
The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss.
"I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week."
The next day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss. By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts:
"I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?"
"Coz . . " he replied laughing, "I just love hearing it.

A DIPLOMATIC KISS!!!!

General Musharaf, Vajpayee, Aishwarya Rai & Margaret Thatcher, are sitting in a train. The train suddenly goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound smooooch <<...OLE_Obj...>> and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel.
Both women and Gen Musharraf are sitting there looking perplexed.
Vajpayee is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.

Thatcher is thinking:

These Indians are all crazy after Aishwarya. Vajpayee must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him.

Aishwarya is thinking:

Vajpayee must have moved to kiss me, and kissed Margaret instead and got slapped.

Vajpayee is thinking:

Damn it, Musharraf must have tried to kiss Aishwarya, she must have thought it was me and slapped my face.

Musharraf is thinking:

If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap Vajpayee again.!!!!!!!!

E-Mail

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, So he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally Typed wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile.....somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband''s funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends.

After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow''s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:



To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I''ve Reached
Date: 2nd June 2004

I know you''re surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now, and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones.

I''ve just reached and have been checked in.
I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Looking forward to seeing you then!
Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

What do you want for your birthday?

Dad : Son, what do you want for your birthday?

Son : Not much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it.

Modern Art

Sardar ji at an art gallery "I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call a modern Art?"

Art Dealer: "I beg your pardon sir. Thats a mirror!"

little johny

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:

"Michael, if you were on a date, having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"

Michael said, "Just a minute, I have to go pee."

The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite.

"What about you Peter, how would you say it?" Peter said, "I'm sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table."

And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your
good manners?"

I would say, "Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to
meet after dinner."

The teacher fainted.

husband and wife

A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the


Wife looks over at him and asks the question....


WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"


HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"


WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"


HUSBAND: "Of course I do."


WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"


HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again. "


WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look)


HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)


WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"


HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."


WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"


HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"


WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"


HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."


WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"


HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."


WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?"


HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."


WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"


HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed. "


WIFE: -- silence --


HUSBAND: "sh*t."

Polish Divorce

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.

The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

Have you any grounds?
Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.

No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
It made of concrete.

I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
No, we have carport, and not need one.

I mean. What are your relations like?
All my relations still in Poland.

Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

Does your wife beat you up?
No, I always up before her.

Is your wife a nagger?
No, she white.

Why do you want this divorce?
She is going to kill me.

What makes you think that?
I got proof.

What kind of proof?
She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read and It say "Polish Remover."