Parking Spot

John was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up toward heaven, he said "Lord, take pity on me, "If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up tequila."

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

John looked up again and said,
"Never mind. I found one."

You Got Mail

Sheraz is racking leaves in his yard and he sees his neighbor Rani coming out of her house and checking the mail box and then slamming it..

then rani comes out again, checks the mailbox and slams it again..third time she comes and does the same thing..

so sheraz finally asks her..rani whats wrong..why do u keep coming and checking for ur mail and slamming the mail box..

Rani says: my stupid computer keeps on saying 'u got mail' ... :P

Lawyer

Vakeel:
Tallaq karwanay k Rs.50,000/- lagain gay.

Husband:
Pagal ho kia? Qazi ne Rs. 101/- mai shaadi karwai thi.

Vakeel:
Dekh lia na sastay kaam ka nateeja..........

Heaven

Einstein, Piccaso and George W. Bush were standing at the heavens gate.

The gate keeper asked Einstein: "Who are you?"

Einstein replied: "I am Einstein"

The gate keeper aasked: "How can I be sure that you are the real Einstein?"

And Einstein brought a board and wrote down all of his formulae.

"You surely are Einstein! In you go!"

Next came Picasso.

"who are you?", he was asked.

I am Picasso", he replied.

"Just as Einstein proved it, you too prove it to me"

And so Picasso brought his canvas and painted soem beautiful portraits.

"You surely are Picasso! In you go!"

Next came Bush.

"Who are you?" He was asked.

"I am Bush jr." he replied.

"Just as Einstein and Picasso proved it, you too prove it to me."

And Bush replied: "Who the hell are Einstein and Picasso?!?!???!"

"You surely are George Bush! In you go!"

Kanjoos Baap

Beta aik aur icecream khao gaye? kanjoos baap nay apnay betay say poocha...

Beta: lekin abbu jaan aap nay aik icecream bhi nai dilaii ab tak :(

Baap: tum bhool rahay ho beta jab hum pichlay saal yahan aaye thay toh aik icecream nahi khai thi kia?

Kanjoos Mareez

Doctor (nurse say): Woh Kanjoos mareez ab kis baat per naraz ho raha hai?

Nurse: Is baat per kay dawai khatam honay say pehle hi woh thik hogaya.

Biwi

Ek dost nay doosray dost say kaha: Tumhein apni biwi kay saath kapray dhoney main sharam nahi aati?

Dosre dost nay kaha: Is main sharam ki kiya baat hai, jab woh meray saath rotiyaan paka sakti hai to kiya main us kay saath kaprey nahi dho sakta?

Chor

Ek chor ki biwi shohar say kehnay lagi: ghar ka rashan khatam hogaya hai jaldi se lekar ayein.

Chor (biwi se): Le aaonga aisee bhi kya jaldi hai zara dukanien to band hone do

MotorCycle

aik sikh raat k waqt motorcycle pay ja raha tha, achanak thanddi hawa chal pari toh bike roak kar apna coat ulta pahan lia aur button peechay ki taraf kar liye aur bike pay sawar ho gaya, sardi say bachnay ki is nai tarqeeb par bayhad khush tha k dhalaan par bike slip hoi aur woh dharaam say neechay aa gira-

kuch dair baad wahan bohat say log jama ho gaye, daikha k sardar sahab maray paray hein aur aik sikh un ki laash k pass khara hai.

us'say logon nay poocha... kia hua hai?

woh bola jab mein pohncha toh sardar jee karaah rahay thay, mein nay jhuk kar daikha toh pata chala k unki gardan mur gai hai mein nay zor laga kar jo gardan seedhi ki tab say nahi bolay.

Newspaper

Yeh tum akhbaar say kon si khabar kaat rahay ho? ik dost nay doosray dost say poocha.

us dost nay kaha: akhbar mein khabar chappi hai k aik aadmi nay apni biwi ko sirf is baat pay talaaq day di k woh us ki pockets ki talaashi lia karti thi...

woh toh sahi magar tum is khabar ka kia karo gaye? dost nay dobara sawal kia.

dost nay jawab dia: apni pocket mein rakhoon ga